You know that moment when reality hits you like a ton of bricks? Yeah, I’ve had one of those. Sitting there at 2 AM, staring at another "Sorry, been busy" text, and one day it finally clicks: I've been investing in a relationship where I'm nothing more than a convenient option.
Let me paint you a picture:
Late-night texts when they're bored. Plans that materialize only when nothing "better" comes up. The constant dance of making sure I’m available whenever they call, while my invitations collect dust in their inbox. Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so.
The Signs I Ignored (Because Let's Be Honest, I Wanted To):
- The last-minute cancelations
- The "sorry, just saw this" messages from three days ago
- The way my stories were always "on hold" but their drama needed immediate attention
- Those breadcrumbs of affection that kept me hanging on
Here's the kicker –
I actually kept track one time (yes, i became that person). Out of 15 attempts to make plans, they followed through on... wait for it... two. TWO. And both times were when their other plans fell through. Ouch.
The Mental Mathematics of Hope
It's funny how we become expert mathematicians in these situations, calculating:
- "Well, they're just busy right now..."
- "They'll have more time next month..."
- "Maybe if I'm more understanding..."
But you know what the real equation is?
Your worth ≠ Someone else's convenience
The Wake-Up Call
It wasn't one big moment that opened my eyes. It was the cumulative weight of:
- Canceled dinner plans
- Unread messages
- Lonely Friday nights
- The constant feeling of being an afterthought
And then one day while I was reorganizing my calendar (for the fifth time) to accommodate their schedule, I asked myself: "When was the last time they did the same for me?"
The silence that followed was deafening.
Moving Forward
So here's what I'm doing about it (and maybe you need to hear this too):
1. Setting boundaries isn't being mean – it's being honest
2. Stopping the mental gymnastics of making excuses for them
3. Investing that energy back into myself
4. Remembering that "busy" is just another word for "priorities"
The Truth Bomb
Here's the thing about people who only give you time when it's convenient for them:
they're not busy, they're just busy with everything else but you. And that's okay – it's their choice. But staying and accepting it? That's on us.
Learning to Walk Away
The hardest part isn't realizing you're being treated as an option
– it's accepting that you deserve more and actually doing something about it. It's understanding that loneliness is better than being someone's backup plan.
To Anyone Who Needs to Hear This
Your time is precious. Your energy is valuable. Your heart is not a waiting room for someone who'll only show up when they have nothing better to do.
So here I am, writing this blog post instead of sending another "hey, you free?" text. Because sometimes the best way to spend your time is realizing who's worth it and who's not.
Have you ever been in this situation? How did you handle it? Drop a comment below – let's remind each other that we're not alone in this journey of self-respect and boundaries.
Remember: You're not an option, a backup plan, or a maybe. You're a priority – start treating yourself like one.
Until next time,
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