When Grown-Ups Go Back to Kindergarten: A Guide to Adult Tantrums
Let's talk about that moment when a perfectly normal adult conversation suddenly turns into a scene from a preschool playground. You know exactly what I'm talking about - when Karen from accounting hits you with a "per my last email" and suddenly you're contemplating whether to respond with a passive-aggressive gif or go full scorched-earth policy.
Here's the thing: we're all walking around pretending to be mature adults who have our lives together, but scratch that professional surface and boom - there's a five-year-old inside all of us, armed with the vocabulary of a college graduate and the emotional regulation of a toddler who missed nap time.
Why does this happen? Well, pull up your therapy chair, and let's dive in.
Remember when you were a kid and your go-to defense was "But they started it!"? Turns out, our brains never really got the memo about upgrading that software. When we feel attacked, our emotional CPU kicks into survival mode faster than you can say "Well, actually..." The rational part of our brain (you know, the part that remembers we're supposed to be grown-ups) goes on coffee break, while our inner child grabs the microphone and starts spitting bars.
The best part? We'll justify our reactions with the most eloquent explanations:
"I'm just matching their energy"
"Sometimes you need to speak their language"
"I'm teaching them a lesson"
Sure, Jan. Because nothing says "I'm a mature adult" like responding to a slight with a carefully crafted paragraph designed to emotionally obliterate someone's entire existence.
Here's what's really going on:
- Our ego gets bruised
- Our inner child throws a tantrum
- We temporarily forget we have student loans and mortgages
- We choose violence (verbal, of course)
- We regret it later (maybe)
The kicker is, we'll do this while simultaneously judging others for doing exactly the same thing. It's like watching two people argue about who's being more mature while both are sticking their tongues out at each other.
Want to know the real tea? This behavior isn't about the current situation at all. It's about that time in third grade when someone made fun of your light-up sneakers, or when your college roommate ate your leftover pizza without asking. Those wounds run deep, folks.
So what's the solution? Hell if I know. I'm still working on not sending snarky replies to emails that start with "As previously discussed." But maybe acknowledging that we're all just tall children trying our best is a start.
Next time you feel that urge to clap back with the fury of a thousand suns, take a breath. Remember you're supposed to be an adult. Then do whatever you want anyway, because let's be real - sometimes people deserve a taste of their own petty medicine. (Just kidding... kind of.)
The truth is, we're all out here pretending we've got it together while occasionally responding to conflict like we're starring in our own reality TV show. And you know what? Maybe that's just part of the human experience - having the wisdom to know better but sometimes choosing chaos anyway.
Now, if you'll excuse me, someone just replied-all to a company-wide email, and my inner child has some thoughts about that. 🍿
P.S. This blog was written by an adult who definitely has never sent a passive-aggressive email with "Kind Regards" instead of just "Regards." Nope. Never.
Until next time,
