You know that feeling when your kindness feels more like a curse than a blessing? Yeah, let's talk about that.
Last week, I found myself sitting in my car, hands gripping the steering wheel, wondering for the millionth time why I couldn't just say "no" to a coworker who, once again, dumped their work on me. Sound familiar?
Here's the thing about being nice – it's exhausting. Not the actual act of kindness itself, but the way some people treat it like an all-you-can-eat buffet of your time, energy, and goodwill. They take, and take, and take, until you're running on empty, yet somehow make you feel guilty for having boundaries.
I've lost count of how many times I've:
- Covered someone's shift because they had "an emergency" (spoiler: it wasn't)
- Lent money I knew I'd never see again
- Listened to hours of someone's problems while my own piled up
- Said "it's fine" when it absolutely wasn't
The worst part? Those same people who drain you dry are nowhere to be found when you need them. Funny how that works, right?
But here's what I've learned through all this: Being nice isn't the problem – being a doormat is. There's a massive difference between kindness and letting people walk all over you. Setting boundaries doesn't make you mean; it makes you human.
These days, I'm working on what I call "mindful niceness." It means:
- Being kind without setting myself on fire to keep others warm
- Learning that "no" is a complete sentence
- Recognizing when someone's taking advantage
- Understanding that real friends don't exploit your kindness
Look, being a good person shouldn't feel like a burden. If it does, chances are you're surrounded by the wrong people. The right ones will match your energy, appreciate your kindness, and most importantly, reciprocate it.
To all my fellow "nice people" out there: Your kindness is a gift, not a weakness. Don't let the takers of this world convince you otherwise. Keep being nice, but be nice to yourself first.
Anyone else feel this way? Drop your experiences in the comments below – sometimes it helps just knowing we're not alone in this.
Until next time,
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